JessicaRigby

It’s a good thing there isn’t a rule about how many best friends a person can have.  If there were, I’d be fucked.  See, the thing is, I love each of my close friends in different ways and for different reasons.  Each of them means enough to me that to name one more special than the others just doesn’t make sense.  I’m this way with lots of things, not just friends.  My Facebook profile is thrice as long as it ought to be because I have to give a whole list of favorites for every category.  My friends mean a lot to me, and the ones I consider my best friends are practically family to me.   

I’ve been trying to write this post for a very, very long time.  I’ve started several posts very much like this one, only to delete them from my dashboard before they got anywhere close to publishing.  The thing is, me and Sebastian go way back.  I have to really work my thinker to remember a time I didn’t know him.  When you know a person that long, you stop thinking about what your friendship means to you and if you aren’t careful, you start to take it for granted.  I don’t think I ever stopped knowing that Sebastian is one of the most important people in my life and he’ll always be one of my most favorite, but I do think I take our friendship for granted sometimes. 

But then there are times like tonight when things just go to shit and I end up running away, looking to someone to listen, and he’s the one who comes through for me.  My roommates and I got in a fight and I felt like if I stayed in that apartment one more minute I was going to make some very bad decisions.  Topanga wasn’t in town.  Layla had class.  I didn’t even want to bother Taylor and Dylan.  But damnit I was pissed off and unless I vented soon I was probably going to cry and call my mom.  I started calling all my friends and no one would answer.  And just when the tears started to come, Sebastian saved the day.  I got a voicemail from him saying, “Oh hey!  I missed your call but call me back!” So I did, and he let me know that I’m not the crazy one.  He assured me that I’m a perfectly delightful human being and am loads of fun, impaired or not.  I think I knew this anyway, but it’s nice to hear someone you trust so much say it anyway.  He’s always been bluntly honest with me, so even if he hadn’t been unbiased, he’d have given it to me straight anyway.  It’s nice to have a friend like that.  He’s always got my best interests at heart, even if I don’t want to hear what he has to say sometimes.  I know I can trust him, though, because he won’t just sugar-coat things to make me feel better.  The crazy thing is, he always makes me feel better anyway.

Baz Luhrman had this song out in the 90’s called “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) in which he gives a whole bunch of life advice to the class of ‘97.  I’ve loved the song ever since and I try to listen to it every few months to remind myself of a few things.  There are two lines in the song that have hit home the most lately.  The first one is, “Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.  Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get,  the more you need the people you knew when you were young.”  I think that pretty much sums up my relationship with everyone from back home, but especially Sebastian and Belle, and maybe Char.  Because I’ve known him for so long, Sebastian has seen it all.  He’s known me through just about every stage imaginable, and he’s seen me through some pretty rough (or at least colorful) times.  I’ve had lots of friends throughout the years, but Sebastian is one of the rare few that has never gone away.  In fact, when things have been shitty, he’s always the one who’s closest by my side.  Obviously it’s nice to have such an amazing and loyal friend, but what I appreciate most is more than just dependability.  The thing about Sebastian is that he knows me.  He’s been my friend for as long as I’ve been in school and if there’s one person who truly understands the way my mind works, it’s him.  He knows my story because he’s lived the whole thing with me.  It’s nice to have someone like that on your speed dial when there are days like today, when you just need a calm, honest voice to talk you through your shit and make you smile.  At the end of our conversation when I exclaimed my joy that Spring Break and thus quality time together is only one week away he told me, “By the way, I have a surprise for you.  Well, actually it’s from my mom because she saw it and was like, ‘Ohmygosh!’ but yes, I have something for you!”  I know it won’t be much, and I’m certainly not saying that the reason I love Sebastian is because of gifts. What I am saying is that it’s nice that I know someone so well that even their mommy sees things and thinks of me.  And in a way, that makes me smile and feel better because it means I have a true, bonafide, best friend in this dude.  That’s enough to cheer me up any day!

So here’s to you, kid!  Thanks for being such a BAMF!  I love you for always and eternal, as the crazy gypsy lady in “Holes” would say.  I don’t say it often anymore, but I hope you still know that I’ve always got your back no matter what happens.  I hope you never ever change because you’re such a stand up guy, but if you do, I promise I’ll love you anyway.  That’s just what best friends are for.

(BTW…The other line from the song that I like a lot lately is, “Be nice to your siblings, they’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.” But that’s another story…)

A few more thoughts:

• The people who live above us like to play their shitty rap and r&b music incredibly loud while they fuck like crazy.  My roommates came home earlier and Betty got so mad at them that she pounded on the ceiling with a broomstick.  They turned it down but stomped really loud back at us and went right back to fucking without the music. Which is even worse because no one wants to hear that all the time?  I wonder if they’ll keep it down or if this will play out to be more drama. (and the plot thickens…!)
• Matt Damon is one of my all time favorite pretty faces.  I’ve read all but like 3 of John Grisham’s novels.  Right now “The Rainmaker” is on USA and I’m so happy!  He’s so young and sexy looking in it and it’s also adorable as hell to watch him and Claire Danes (another fave) do their thing.  If you haven’t seen Sarah Silverman’s video I’m Fucking Matt Damon then you should check it out now. 
• Also, I was wondering earlier… what the hell is it about smoking a cigarette that makes boys want to kiss me?  I was making a list in my head of the last 5 boys I’ve kissed and I realized that cigarettes had something to do with at least 3 of them.  Very weird.  Too bad it’s such a bad habit!  Pretty yucky when you think about it.
• I really enjoy taking pictures.  It’s nice to be able to look back at certain moments.  Today I realized I had a whole bunch of pictures on my camera card that I’d forgotten all about and as we flipped through them it was fun to laugh at the little moments we’d captured but forgotten about since. 
• Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve wanted a library in my house when I grow up.  I spent like $200 at Barnes & Noble over Christmas Break and I’m slowly working my way through my purchases.  I think after I finish “No Country For Old Men” I’ll read some Dickens again.  It’s been a little while since I’ve read good ol’ Chaz and I miss him! 

blame my roomates and not the music!