JessicaRigby

A few more thoughts:

• The people who live above us like to play their shitty rap and r&b music incredibly loud while they fuck like crazy.  My roommates came home earlier and Betty got so mad at them that she pounded on the ceiling with a broomstick.  They turned it down but stomped really loud back at us and went right back to fucking without the music. Which is even worse because no one wants to hear that all the time?  I wonder if they’ll keep it down or if this will play out to be more drama. (and the plot thickens…!)
• Matt Damon is one of my all time favorite pretty faces.  I’ve read all but like 3 of John Grisham’s novels.  Right now “The Rainmaker” is on USA and I’m so happy!  He’s so young and sexy looking in it and it’s also adorable as hell to watch him and Claire Danes (another fave) do their thing.  If you haven’t seen Sarah Silverman’s video I’m Fucking Matt Damon then you should check it out now. 
• Also, I was wondering earlier… what the hell is it about smoking a cigarette that makes boys want to kiss me?  I was making a list in my head of the last 5 boys I’ve kissed and I realized that cigarettes had something to do with at least 3 of them.  Very weird.  Too bad it’s such a bad habit!  Pretty yucky when you think about it.
• I really enjoy taking pictures.  It’s nice to be able to look back at certain moments.  Today I realized I had a whole bunch of pictures on my camera card that I’d forgotten all about and as we flipped through them it was fun to laugh at the little moments we’d captured but forgotten about since. 
• Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve wanted a library in my house when I grow up.  I spent like $200 at Barnes & Noble over Christmas Break and I’m slowly working my way through my purchases.  I think after I finish “No Country For Old Men” I’ll read some Dickens again.  It’s been a little while since I’ve read good ol’ Chaz and I miss him! 

It’s one of those nice quiet nights in and I’m all nice and cozy on my couch after watching Beowoulf with Topanga.  It was a good movie but I think possibly just because of the other movies we watched beforehand.  I have a feeling tonight’s going to be a night full of writing but we shall see.  The night is still young, who knows what might happen! 

I keep a notebook with my in my bag pretty much all the time.  I’m not sure if it’s a habit I picked up from my mother, a product of my overactive ADHD mind, or the journalist inside of me.  But having it around means that I’m able to jot things down to blog about and look over my notes later.  Here are a few random ones as of late::

• “Sometimes I wish I was a giant.  So that  I could see the circumference of the world!”- Topanga out at The Park In the Sky
• Q:Why didn’t the Skeleton cross the Road?
  A: Because he didn’t have the guts!
• Taylor: (gasping in awe) “The last muffin!”
• Try to remember which Dylan song Joan Boaz did a cover of that I liked.  It was badass and I want to hear it again!
• Add “Beautiful Disaster,” “Put Your Lights On,” and “Rescue Blues” to the My Soundtrack project.
• Books I still need to read: Blade Runner, Trainspotting, American Psycho, and Minority Report.  Also, possibly The Spiderwick Chronicles?
• Movies to add to my Netflix que: “Falling Down,” “House On Haunted Hill,” “Margot At the Wedding,” “Beloved”… Also “The Point” with Ringo Star and “Equalibrium.”
• “Do you ever think about how lazy people in other countries must think we Americans are?  We go outside just to run.  Like what?  We’re all sitting at home playing our video games and we stand up and say “Oh man!  I need to excercise my legs because I’ve been sitting on my ass all day long!  Man… I bet some dude in Zimbabwe is all, ‘Bitch please! I have to run from lions daily!”- My friends crack my shit up!

By the way… I’d like to clear up something I realized after reading my last entry.  It’s not about “addiction” in the terms of drugs, booze, sex, and rock n roll.  It’s not about those things at all.  In retrospect I realize that some may view it that way, but I’m not going to change something honest for fear of how someone else might interpret it.  I’m writing this blog in the way that I am because if I’m going to try to write again, it needs to be honest and true.  I can’t censor myself or hold anything back.  This is my release, and I’d be cheating myself by keeping my mouth shut.  I give myself and my friends psuedonames and most of my entries are posted at least a few weeks after they were originally written so that dates and times mean nothing.  I also keep a private blog where I experiment with pieces and hide the ones I’m not brave enough to publish here.  That’s why sometimes things I write come and go, or show up out of order or retroactively.  In a way, being Jessica Rigby is a chance for me to be someone else.  Someone honest and real, who doesn’t hide from anything but protects herself and her loved ones all the same.  I’m not asking for anything but a chance to express myself and let out all these crazy thoughts swirling around in my mind.  If you want to read it, go ahead.  Just don’t expect me to explain, or apologize for, or edit anything.